first date first impressions

I’ve finally got up the nerve to start going out with a man who seemed reasonably sane. My first date is with Josh. I’m hesitant because he’s a few years younger than me but his profile is lighthearted and humorous. He has a quirky sense of humor which I find very attractive. His picture is nice and he lists himself as 6ft with a note saying that’s his true height. Bingo! We do the whole wink, e-mail, text thing and I like his virtual personality. The first time he asks me out I have to decline because not only am I sick, I’ve lost my voice. We plan on later in the week which is difficult for me because of class but I really want to meet him. The good thing is he lives in Brooklyn, has a car and knows a few places in my neighborhood. He chooses a spot I’ve never been to but it’s close to me. I happen to have a midterm the night of our date and one for the record is that I will never schedule a date on the same night as a big test. The test takes longer than I had anticipated so I have to push the date back a half-hour to give me enough time to run home, change, shower, and pretty-up.

I make it to the designated spot on time and…he’s not there. I’m waiting and getting nervous thinking I’ve been stood up. I sit at the bar thinking of Plan B – I will order a drink and an appetizer, enjoy the atmosphere then get the hell out of there. I get an ego boost from a cutie who gives me a “look” and I really hope Josh is good looking in person. I receive another hit albeit not so flattering when a guy sits next to me and starts a conversation. I’m getting anxious ’cause the clock’s ticking and dude chatting me up is a little off or slightly inebriated. Josh walks in and I immediately recognize him, not because he’s what I expected but because he looks like a close approximation of his photos. I stand to greet him and realize 6ft ain’t what it used to be. Also, close-up he’s not as appealing as his profile pics and there’s just something I can’t put my finger on…

We sit in the back lounge area, order drinks and an appetizer, and talk. He’s nice enough but definitely not what I had hoped for in person. This is why I don’t spend too much time in virtual relationships. They’re like black and white photos – everyone appears a little bit better and you don’t notice the rough edges as much. Virtual relationships allow you to be funnier or smarter or more compassionate because you have that extra time to edit your natural response. However, it’s a necessary evil for me because I like to see how a guy communicates, I just don’t waste a lot of effort on becoming penpals.

So, back to Josh. The conversation is okay and I feel comfortable with him. I apologize for pushing back the time at the last minute and I explain that I wanted to give myself a cushion to get home, shower, change, and get to the spot. He nonchalantly mentions that he didn’t bother to shower before meeting me. Really? Let me say he made it clear that he’s been home at least four hours before the start of our date. But this is besides the point. On a first date, under no circumstances is it permissible to share your lackadaisical attitude towards personal hygiene. No, his day job does not entail hard physical labor but still. Damn. Don’t tell me you didn’t shower. I’m sitting there simultaneously trying AND not trying to smell him. I’m forced to spend the next 15 minutes surreptitiously searching for signs of poor personal care. Guess what? Found ’em. The mood lighting initially hid it but upon closer inspection I notice that his clothes have been worn a lot. The cuffs on the sleeves are actually fraying and his slacks have seen better days. He didn’t even care enough to wear a decent outfit.

I try to be nonjudgmental and focus on making the best of the rest of the date. Honestly, it wasn’t horrible which led to my mistake of going out with him again. Yes, I’m that stupid. There’s something in me that wants to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I caught him on a bad day. Nope. Second date outfit is just as bad and this man works on Wall Street and still has a job so he should have at least one presentable shirt in his closet. What’s worse is that as we talk some more I’m bored senseless. How did I get stuck with a boring, poorly dressed date? Because I’m that stupid. When our meal comes I eat it like a recently released hostage. I want to get out of there as quick as possible. No thank you, I don’t want another drink. No, I don’t want dessert. He’s barely finished his meal and I’m flagging the waiter like I’m landing a 747. Yes, the check would be great. Please bring it! Now!

Suffice it to say there was no third date.

So, enough of Yahoo! Personals. Next on deck is Lavalife and Match.com.

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